BISMILLAH AR-RAHMAN AR-RAHEEM!

AS SALAAMU ALAIKUM WA RAHMATULLAHI WA BARAKATUH!

MAY ALLAH ALLOW THIS BLOG TO BENEFIT ALL OF OUR MUSLIM BROTHERS & SISTERS! AMEEN!

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

The Value of Women & their Position before the time of Prophethood

As Salaamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuh! I hope this finds you close to Allah & in the best of health and Iman.

The Value of Women and their Position before the time of Prophethood

Umm Musa. She realized the value of women and their position before the time
of Prophet-Hood. She praised Islâm for glorifying and exalting her, and she
thanked its first call for being concerned with her and for its guidance.
She did not leave men to do things by themselves without her. Just as she
followed the new religion in all stages in faith and punishment in its path,
and migrated to it and called to it by tongue and by the sword by herself
and along with her family members, husband, son and family. So as to
safeguard the din and show enthusiasm for it and she dedicated her night and
day to it along with her travel, her presence, her residency and her Hijra
(migration), as a virgin, as a wife and as a mother.

She was dutiful and at times surpassed men, as the first of the believers
was a woman and the first martyr in the path of Allâh was a woman and
likewise she was dutiful in spreading the din and preserving it, accepting
it and conveying it. It is known that some women were those who reported
thousands and hundreds and tens of ahadith of the master of the Messengers.
Her condition progressed and the Muslim woman increased in self-trust,
mighty status and happiness with Islâm. From women were to be found
admonishers, scholars, jurists and Hadith specialists throughout the
different times and epochs, in all areas and regions. She found herself
after loss and ruin and from going from condition to condition, from a
condition wherein she was a despised thing within the family and society
during her childhood and her youth with no rights, no respect and no care
for her opinions and presence.

Men enslaved her submissiveness and if she was asked she would not answer
and if she was needed to gather firewood, fetch water, pick-up the
date-kernels for the camels and feed the dogs she had to do it if she quiet.
She was a garment for the thirst of desires in aversion and distrust as from
the day of her entry into the world faces would be grieved and souls would
be perplexed and disturbed as to what to do with her, should the father keep
the baby girl or bury her alive in the ground? Her glad-tidings were thus
indignation, anger and to be buried alive into the earth, yet intelligence
was her distinctive character throughout the length of her time with the
light of the heavens and guidance of the Prophets. Men with their idolatrous
actions and upbring of soothsaying tried to conceal her delightful origins
and yet her body, shining and glowing and not fearing or turning away.

Reference: “The Noble Women Scholars of Hadith” pg: 83-84

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Tie your Camel first, then put your Trust in Allah

As Salaamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuh! I hope this finds you close to Allah & in the best of health and Iman.

If Allah helps you, none can overcome you:

If He forsakes you, who is there, after that, that can help you?

In Allah, then, Let believers put their trust.
{Quran Surah€ # 3 Al-Imran verse# 160}
Tie your Camel First!

One day Prophet Muhammad
( peace and blessings be upon him)
noticed a Bedouin leaving his camel without tying it.
He asked the Bedouin...
"Why don't you tie down your camel?"
The Bedouin answered~
"I put my trust in Allah."
The Prophet
( peace and blessings be upon him) then said:-
"Tie your camel first, then put your trust in Allah"
(Tirmidhi)
A man may utter a word pleasing to Allaah without considering it of any
significance, but for which Allaah elevates his ranks
(in Paradise); another one
may speak a word displeasing to Allaah without considering it of any
importance, but for which he would be plummeted into Hell."
[Bukhari]


60 Ways to Keep your Husband's Love!

As Salaamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuh! I hope this finds you close to Allah & in the best of health and Iman.

60 Ways to Keep Your Husband’s Love
  1. Behave like a female, i.e. all the tenderness of a female–a man doesn’t want a man for his wife!
  2. Dress pleasantly/attractively. If you are a home-maker, don’t stay in your sleeping suit all day.
  3. Smell good!
  4. Don’t lay out all your problems on your husband as soon as he walks in. Give him a little mental break.
  5. Don’t keep asking him, “what are you thinking?”
  6. Stop nagging non-stop before Allah ta’ala gives you something really to complain about.
  7. Absolutely no talking about your spousal problems to anyone you meet, not even under the pretense of seeking help! If you think you want to solve legitimate marital issues, then go seek counseling with the right person who can give advice in either:
    1. Mediate any injustice done so any wrong can be corrected and the couple can reunite in harmony, or
    2. Amicable divorce
  8. Be kind to your mother-in-law the same way you would like your husband to be kind to your own mother.
  9. Learn all the rights and obligations of each other in Islam. Focus on fulfilling your obligations, not demanding your rights
  10. Race to the door when he comes home, as if you were waiting for him. Smile and hug him.
  11. Keep your house clean, at least to the level that he wants it.
  12. Compliment him on the things you know he’s not so confident about (looks, intelligence, etc.) This will build his self-esteem.
  13. Tell him he’s the best husband ever.
  14. Call his family often.
  15. Give him a simple task to do at home and then thank him when he does it. This will encourage him to do more.
  16. When he’s talking about something boring, listen and nod your head. Even ask questions to make it seem like you’re interested.
  17. Encourage him to do good deeds.
  18. If he’s in a bad mood, give him some space. He’ll get over it, inshaAllah.
  19. Thank him sincerely for providing you with food and shelter. It’s a big deal.
  20. If he’s angry with you and starts yelling, let him yell it out while you’re quiet. You will see your fight will end a lot faster. Then when he’s calm, you can tell him your side of the story and how you want him to change something.
  21. When you’re mad at him, don’t say “YOU make me furious”, rather, “This action makes me upset”. Direct your anger to the action and circumstance rather than at him.
  22. Remember that your husband has feelings, so take them into consideration.
  23. Let him chill with his friends without guilt, especially if they’re good guys. Encourage him to go out, so he doesn’t feel “cooped up” at home.
  24. If your husband is annoyed over a little thing you do (and you can control it), then stop doing it. Really.
  25. Learn how to tell him what you expect without him having to guess all the time. Learn to communicate your feelings.
  26. Don’t get mad over small things. It’s not worth it.
  27. Make jokes. If you’re not naturally funny, go on the internet and read some jokes, and then tell them to him.
  28. Tell him you’re the best wife ever and compliment yourself on certain things you know you’re good at.
  29. Learn to make his favorite dish.
  30. Don’t ever, EVER talk bad about him with friends or family unnecessarily. If they end up agreeing with you, you will see that it hits you back in the face because you get more depressed that you have a bad husband–and other people also think you have a bad husband.
  31. Use your time wisely and get things accomplished. If you’re a home-maker, take online classes and get active in your community. This will make you happy and a secondary bonus is that it impresses your husband.
  32. Do all of the above fee sabeelillah and you will see Allah put barakah in everything you do.
  33. Husband and wife should discuss and communicate with wisdom with each other to convey what they like and dislike of each other to do or not to do. Do NOT give commands or instructions like he’s your servant. “They are garment to each other” [Surah Baqarah, 2:187]
  34. Tell your husband you love him, many, many times. Aisha (رضالله عنها) narrated that the Prophet (صلي الله عليه وسلم) used to ask her how strong her love for him, she said like “a knot.” And the next time he would ask her, “How is that knot?” He also used to reply to her saying, “Jazzakillah, O Aishah, wallahi, you have not rejoiced in me as I have rejoiced in you.”
  35. Have a race with your husband and let him win, even if you are much fitter and stronger than him.
  36. Keep fit and take care of your health so you will remain a strong mother, wife, cook and housekeeper, inshaAllah you will not get FAT and frumpy.
  37. Refine and cultivate good mannerisms i.e do not whine, don’t laugh or talk too loud or walk like an elephant.
  38. Do not leave the house without his permission and certainly not without his knowledge.
  39. Make sure all his clothes are clean and pressed so he is always looking fresh and crisp.
  40. Don’t discuss important/controversial matters with him when he is tired or sleepy. Find right time for right discussion.
  41. The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.
  42. Always let him know that you appreciate him working and bringing home the “dough”. It makes it easier for him to go to work.
  43. Make sure you ALWAYS have something for dinner.
  44. Brush your hair, everyday.
  45. Don’t forget to do laundry.
  46. Surprise him with gifts. Even necessities, such as new shoes, can be gifts.
  47. Listen to him. (Even when he talks about extremely boring things like basketball or computers.)
  48. Try (hard as it might be) to take interest in his hobbies.
  49. Try not to go shopping too much … and spend all his money.
  50. Look attractive and be seductive towards him. Flirt with him.
  51. Learn tricks and “techniques” to please your husband in intimacy. (Of course goes both ways.)
  52. Prepare for special evenings with him with special dinner and exclusive time (no children permitted).
  53. Take care of your skin, especially your face. The face is center of attraction.
  54. If you not satisfied intimately, talk to him and tell him. Help him or provide resources, don’t wait until matters become worse.
  55. Ask Allah to strengthen and preserve the bonds of compassion and love between the two of you, every day, every prayer. Ask him to protect that bond from Shaytan. When a lesser devil destroys the love between spouses, he is the most beloved of Shaytaan. Nothing works like du’ah, and love only exists between spouses where Allah instills it.
  56. Don’t EVER compare your husbands to other husbands! For example don’t say, “well her husband doesn’t do that, why do you …” (thats a killer!)
  57. Be happy with what you have because no one is perfect. If you want perfection, wait until you enter Jannah together inshaAllah–and of course, vice versa!
  58. Strive for Allah’s love first and foremost! if all wives try to seek Allah’s love and pleasure, surely, they can keep their husbands love too. And remember–if Allah loves you, the angels will love you, and the entire creation will love you.
  59. If you pack a lunch for your husband to take to work, from time to time sneak in a little love note or sweet poem. If he doesn’t take a lunch, leave the note somewhere else for him to find, like in his briefcase, or wallet or on the car steering-wheel
  60. Wake him up for Qiyam ul-Layl (in the last third of the night) and ask him to pray with you.
May Allah preserve all of our marriages and help us understand and implement them in and with the best of manners, ameen! InshaAllah if you know more ways, post them in the comments and share the benefit.
(For brothers, check out 60 Ways To Keep Your Wife’s Love, and the romance alive! by shaykh Ahmed Shehab)



What is Real Love?

As Salaamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuh! I hope this finds you close to Allah & in the best of health and Iman.

There are many words in Arabic that translate as “love” in English; two of them are hubb and wudd. What is the difference between hubb (حَبَّ) and wudd (وَدَّ)? Hubb, which is from ح ب ب ، means to love. It is a love that you have for someone or something that you keep inside of you–inner feelings of admiration and fondness. While wudd, from و د د، is a more intense form of hubb, a whole-hearted and deep love. Wudd is the purest form of love, an intimate love, and this love–affection that is more stronger than hubb–turns into actions. Wudd is to express those feelings of love in your conduct, in your actions,in your demeanor, and wudd maintains consistency and persists even if obstacles are in the way.

Allah (سبحانه وتعالى) describes Himself as “Al-Wadood” (الودود) and this is usually translated into English as “The Most Loving.” This Love is constant and spreads to all of Allah’s creation, but a special form of this love is for His righteous servants. He says:

 
 إِنَّ الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا وَعَمِلُوا الصَّالِحَاتِ سَيَجْعَلُ لَهُمُ الرَّحْمَانُ وُدّاً

Translation: Indeed, those who have believed and done righteous deeds, Ar-Rahman will appoint for them affection. [Surah Maryam, verse 96]

The Name of Allah, Al-Wadood, comes twice in the Qur’an, firstly, Prophet Shuy’ab (عليه السلام) tells his people:

وَاسْتَغْفِرُواْ رَبَّكُمْ ثُمَّ تُوبُواْ إِلَيْهِ إِنَّ رَبِّي رَحِيمٌ وَدُودٌ

Translation: And ask forgiveness of your Lord and turn unto Him in repentance. Verily, my Lord is Most Merciful, Most Loving.” [Surah Hud, verse 90]

And, in Surah Al-Burooj, ayah 14, Allah says:

وَهُوَ الْغَفُورُ الْوَدُودُ

Translation: And He is Al-Ghafuwr, Al-Wadood (the Affectionate). [Surah Al-Burooj, verse 14]
In Arabic grammar, “Wadood” falls under the fa’ool (فعول) pattern, which denotes Allah’s Love as constant and lasting, as well as intense. Allah is Al-Wadood, He loves the believers, and the believers love Him more than anything and anyone. His love is a love that is continual, ample, and vast, and translates into the blessings He gives us, from a simple breath we take to the greatest blessing of Islam.

So how can we live by Allah’s Name, Al-Wadood? There are three important factors we have to fulfill:
  1. To know that Allah loves you a lot.
  2. To fill your hearts with the love of Allah and make our hearts only for Him, and remove from them everything else, such as the love of the dunya.
  3. To show the love that Allah is showing you to others–to your spouse, your family, your friends, your community.
Reference
Imam Safi Khan. Lecture. Dar-us-Salaam Masjid. College Park, Maryland.



Monday, June 6, 2011

Istikarah is NOT done when a Person is Uncertain

As Salaamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuh! I hope this finds you close to Allah & in the best of health and Iman.

Shaykh Muhammad bin 'Umar Bazmool said: That al-Istikharah is not done
when a person is uncertain about the matter at hand; because the
Prophet sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam said: "that if any of you intends to undertake
a matter" and that the whole of the Duaa indicates to this point.

So if a Muslim is uncertain about a matter, and he intends to pray
al-Istikharah, then he should make a choice between the two matters and
then pray al-Istikharah, and then after al-Istikharah he executes that
matter, and if it was good then Allaah will make it easy for him and bless
him in that, and if it was not good for him, then Allaah turns it away from
him and makes easy for him that in which there is good by the permission of
Allaah.

[Taken from: Buggeeyat al-Mutattawa fee salat at-tattawa p.105]

Translated by Abbaas Abu Yahyaa

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